tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88294423550940587602011-09-06T10:52:25.374-07:00I work the midnight shift at a hotel. 'Nuff said?The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.comBlogger281100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-92082780628227394232010-12-10T00:19:00.000-08:002011-07-16T00:09:59.022-07:00Beep. I'm an alarm.<div>Also, I am enigma.</div><div>You: Ungrateful hag.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-9208278062822739423?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-85517139050872985892010-12-10T00:12:00.000-08:002010-12-10T00:19:06.995-08:00No rooms at the inn.<div>Your car is warm and toasty.</div><div>Just like in high school.</div><div><br /></div><div>No rooms at the inn.</div><div>Two cold and stranded lovers.</div><div>Go fuck in the car.</div><div><br /></div><div>No rooms at the inn.</div><div>Your glares will not make that change.</div><div>There are still no rooms.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-8551713905087298589?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-3428296552105795952010-12-10T00:09:00.000-08:002010-12-10T00:11:45.874-08:00Credit card denied.<div>Some business is unwelcome.</div><div>Get the fuck out, bitch.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-342829655210579595?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-5425806380982300872010-12-04T01:42:00.000-08:002010-12-10T00:35:31.777-08:00No room with two beds.<div><a href="http://www.signingsavvy.com/sign/I/209/1">I</a> <a href="http://www.handspeak.com/word/index.php?dict=wh&amp;signID=2401">WILL</a> <a href="http://www.handspeak.com/word/index.php?dict=mor&amp;signID=3318">MURDER</a> <a href="http://www.signingsavvy.com/sign/you">YOU</a> <a href="http://www.handspeak.com/word/index.php?dict=sk&amp;signID=1992">SLOWLY</a>.</div><div>Always room in Hell!</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-542580638098230087?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-71112387093837507672010-12-04T01:32:00.000-08:002010-12-10T00:29:13.987-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" >No room with two beds.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >I WILL MURDER YOU SLOWLY.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" >Always room in Hell!</span></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-7111238709383750767?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-72453941729814067862010-12-04T01:27:00.000-08:002010-12-04T01:29:10.122-08:00No rooms with two beds.<div>I said, no rooms with two beds.</div><div>Dear god, I hate you.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-7245394172981406786?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-52297609559663123572010-11-25T08:14:00.000-08:002010-11-25T08:17:41.341-08:00A simpering cunt,<div>debasing herself whining.</div><div>My heart is as stone.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-5229760955966312357?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-50817705510520800692010-09-07T00:49:00.000-07:002010-09-07T00:55:43.070-07:00It is Labor Day.<div>No, there is no newspaper.</div><div>It is Labor Day.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-5081770551052080069?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-21915111279967629882010-05-22T00:23:00.001-07:002010-05-22T00:26:05.106-07:00Two is more than one.<div>Cribs are free. I would love to.</div><div>No, it's just me here.</div><div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-2191511127996762988?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-86350296282415666882010-05-15T00:39:00.002-07:002010-05-15T00:40:14.562-07:00The Auditor has moved from a Chain Hotel in Redneck, USA to a Chain Hotel in Curlyfornia.<div><br /></div><div>Same stupid questions, same silly job.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-8635029628241566688?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-13463481935296200832010-05-15T00:38:00.001-07:002010-05-15T00:39:07.616-07:00I hate directions.<div>You never listen to them.</div><div>Take that right to hell.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-1346348193529620083?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-68621243572037975432009-08-16T23:26:00.002-07:002009-08-16T23:30:03.558-07:00Sunday night: so slow.<div>David Tennant: my only</div><div>company. Love 10.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-6862124357203797543?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-35070961614325139192009-08-13T22:25:00.001-07:002009-08-13T22:27:44.004-07:00What uncertainty<div>is there in "no vacancy?"</div><div>You're a fucking git.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-3507096161432513919?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-15112660255391877592009-08-09T01:10:00.002-07:002009-08-09T01:11:06.560-07:00<!--StartFragment--><span style="font-size:100%;">A smile speaks volumes<br />and words have many meanings.<br />You? Always a douche.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-1511266025539187759?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-10992860866303901392009-08-07T23:40:00.000-07:002009-08-07T23:41:25.787-07:00<div>The next hotel is</div><div>nine miles north. That's way too far?</div><div>then go to Hell, sir.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-1099286086630390139?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-12068729406993595182009-06-15T21:12:00.001-07:002009-06-15T21:14:13.460-07:00The carafes gurgle<div>sounds from across the speck'd room,</div><div>Empty as your eyes.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-1206872940699359518?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-52209113243024078012009-05-16T02:00:00.002-07:002009-05-16T02:02:34.936-07:00<div>Some things do not change.<br />At least, not without hammers.<br />Hello, Manager.<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-5220911324302407801?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-57239193877033028762009-04-30T23:00:00.000-07:002009-04-30T23:00:00.313-07:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">This one has nothing to do with work, but Alex K. of <a href="http://teenagemisanthropy.blogspot.com/">Teenage Misanthropy</a> threw down the gauntlet.  Bitches take notice:  all challenges will be met with violence.  The challenge was to write a poem that rhymed "semtex" with "extramarital sex."  This one's for you, PM Kelly.</span><div><br /></div><div>It's explosive, this.</div><div>This affair, that is.</div><div>Extramarital sex</div><div>that's like semtex.</div><div>Sandwiched</div><div>between</div><div>layers</div><div>of plastic.</div><div>It's something drastic</div><div>And something</div><div>will</div><div>end</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-5723919387703302876?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-11657581318804112512009-04-29T07:16:00.001-07:002009-04-29T07:16:00.730-07:00Shriek!   A shrill voice voice screams,<div>violating the silence.</div><div>A petty demand.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-1165758131880411251?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-44292422309061024272009-04-27T07:19:00.002-07:002009-04-27T07:27:06.369-07:00Mislabeled shelves.  Count:<div>One, two, three, all is... fucked up.</div><div>How existential.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-4429242230906102427?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-34606404903643431752009-04-27T07:15:00.000-07:002009-04-27T07:16:38.585-07:00Lost?  There are four floors,<div>numbered sequentially.</div><div>You figure it out.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-3460640490364343175?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-63354730553193919652009-04-27T07:14:00.001-07:002009-04-27T07:15:41.532-07:00Am I sure?  I work<div>here, sir.  Of course I'm certain.</div><div>This is not Kafka.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-6335473055319391965?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-57176953788450789772009-04-10T00:19:00.004-07:002009-04-10T00:38:42.558-07:00We stand,<div>paralyzed,</div><div>waiting for a machine.</div><div>Meaningless small talk.</div><div>You get your bill</div><div>and the coffee?</div><div>Like the Water of Lethe.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-5717695378845078977?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-52126299443600157712009-04-09T17:10:00.002-07:002009-04-09T17:29:59.671-07:00TO ALL EMPLOYEES<div><br /></div><div>FRIDAY WILL NOW BE CASUAL FRIDAYS.  DONT TAKE THIS TO FAR AND RESPECT THE GUESTS FELLOW EMPLOYEES AND YOURSELF WHEN CHOOSING YOUR CLOTHING.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-5212629944360015771?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-48648084234116307702009-04-05T23:47:00.002-07:002009-04-05T23:48:16.303-07:00Your beer breath astounds.<div>Wafting heavily over<br />the desk.  Attractive.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-4864808423411630770?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-18241697766741491672009-04-03T00:50:00.000-07:002009-04-03T00:54:43.678-07:00Time is linear.<div>From Monday to Sunday, calm.</div><div>My schedule is not.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-1824169776674149167?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-13671031118682516842009-04-03T00:46:00.001-07:002009-04-03T01:05:30.817-07:00Sleek panther remains<div>clean.  His coat, spotless.  Must be</div><div>fucking the bosses.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-1367103111868251684?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829442355094058760.post-65668057702788681342009-04-03T00:41:00.001-07:002009-04-09T17:40:54.221-07:00I think I'll use this space to post mediocre haiku about my shitty job working night shift at a hotel.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8829442355094058760-6566805770278868134?l=hotelhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Auditorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01468919718262299497noreply@blogger.com0